In the morning hours when dawn breaks morning light,
I stumble to the bathroom, and have a sudden fright.
It’s there I see, in all her glory, the woman in my life,
And I can tell as day begins there’s going to be some strife.
She found the tube of toothpaste which didn’t really please her,
You see, she rolls the tube right up, while I’m a manly squeezer.
She holds the tube in her right hand and asks what this could be,
She’s looking for a straight answer, which she won’t get from me.
I say “you’re looking fine for such and early hour,”
She shakes the tube again in her unclenching power.
Again, she asks, “what’s happened here to this my favorite tube?
I giggle twice, and shrug a lot, like some embarrassed boob.
I can tell it’s not going well, she’s beginning to really fume,
I better come up with the perfect words before I reach my doom.
I say, “a funny thing occurred, the sink it had a clog,
While I was working just for you, the tube was stepped on by the dog.”
To tell the tale I used a voice so true and bright and chipper,
It upset her so she squeezed the tube which splattered on her slipper.
So always be a roller and try and please your spouse,
Or be like me, a lonely man, living in the poodle’s house.
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